Episode 185: Comparative Suffering

Have you ever caught yourself either invalidating your own suffering, saying something like “I shouldn't be complaining because so-and-so has it so much worse,” or thinking or even saying, “Oh yeah well, did you go through this? I didn't think so! I had it so much worse than you,” kind of like the classic fable of parents who walked home from school a mile in the snow with no shoes, and uphill both ways?! Well today we're going to talk about this idea of comparative suffering, that either you're bad because you're complaining when you haven't suffered enough to qualify to complain or feel sad, OR, you think someone else shouldn't complain because you've had it worse. Both lead to unhappiness, and both are destructive. So we’ll unpack this idea of comparative suffering and also provide 3 antidotes that will help you to overcome this kind of thinking and instead live in peace and joy and abundance, even through challenging times.


Time Stamps:

[01:02] – Corrine gives an update on her bed rest. She talks about a community she found.

[03:43] – What happened after a community member compared her suffering to her friends?

[05:27] – What is comparative suffering?

[08:17] – Allow suffering to pass through.

[10:05] – People aren’t thinking about you as much as you think.

[12:54] – What other people think of you is none of your business.

[14:23] – Even the smallest things need care and attention.

[17:06] – Corrine explores how pride can show up in comparative suffering.

[19:57] – Be careful not to fall into the trap of pride, ego, and entitlement.

[21:50] – Neil talks about how suffering is relative to the person.

[24:20] – It’s nice to have someone empathize with your suffering.

[27:07] – Corrine shares how freeing it felt to move on from things that hurt her in the past.

[28:56] – Suffering is part of divine design. Heavenly Father knows the nuance of what we go through.

[31:03] – Neil talks about how prayer can bring relief in the midst of suffering.

[33:20] – How can you use gratitude to give yourself a wider perspective?

[36:15] – Each day is miraculous.


Supporting Resources:

“But for a Small Moment” Talk by Neal A. Maxwell

“Beware of Pride” Talk by Ezra Taft Benson

Gratitude quote by Melody Beattie

John 14:24-27 Scripture about the comforter

Alma 7:11-12 Christ knows how to succor us in our infirmities


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