Episode 275: Trust in God

In today’s episode we’re diving deep into a theme that has defined 2024 for many of us: trusting in God. As we find ourselves in the midst of July, halfway through the year, it’s the perfect time to reflect on how faith has guided us through various challenges. Today, we’re discussing personal experiences and insights on how trust in God can be the bedrock of our lives, especially during tough times. We’re sharing stories about missed opportunities, unexpected trials, and the ultimate realization that God’s plan is often far better than our own. We also talk about how understanding God’s nature and embracing adversity can strengthen our faith. So, join us as we unpack these ideas and encourage you to find comfort and strength in trusting God’s timing and wisdom.

“Our Relationship with God” Talk by D. Todd Christofferson https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2022/04/41christofferson?lang=eng

“Give Us This Day Our Daily Bread” Talk by D. Todd Christofferson

“Give Us This Day Our Daily Bread”

“Mere Christianity” book by C.S. Lewis


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We are live and direct. I have been in the middle of July, halfway through the year. And we were talking about different topics that we could cover today. There are a lot of good ideas thrown around, but this one, I feel like has been kind of a theme of 2024 for us, trust in God over and over. So that's what we're going to talk about today.

And I feel like. You have not, I feel like you had the inspiration for this. So do you want to kick it off? Sure. I love this topic. I think it's everything. Every time I talk to someone, a friend who's struggling or challenge going through a challenge or I myself am struggling or going through a challenge, there'll be this whole process of walking through the issue, what it is, the ins and outs of it, how you feel about it.

But at the end of the conversation in talking about solution or thinking about it, it always comes down to the bedrock of trust in God. Like that's essentially what. If you, if you distill or boil it all down to one thing, it's trust God. And that's, and that's usually the issue that's, that's like, okay, somewhere along the line, the reason why I'm struggling is I'm not trusting in God because I either don't understand fully his nature or trust in who he really is.

He's perfect and loving and caring and loves me and my relationship to him. You know, maybe some other, other reason why that I'm not trusting. That I think is really interesting. Maybe if we want to pause on that just for a second, because I used to hear that and almost like offended is not the right word, but feel bad about it.

Like when people would say like, Oh, you don't want to like, you don't understand how God works or you don't want to trust him or you want to take it. And I would always be like, no, I want to. I've always had, ever since I can remember, ever since I was a little child, always had a desire to do God's will and be close to Him and all of those things.

Where I think that it actually pulls you away from trusting in God fully is, When you get distracted by Satan, I think that's all it is is by fear or by desire or temptation or, you know, all of his many tactics. That's where I think we get diverted a lot of times. It's not because I woke, wake up one day and go like, I don't want to trust in God today.

Yeah. I think it's just that the adversary is really good at making something look interesting or easier, path of least resistance, a lot, a lot of different things, or even scary, like, Ooh, you're going to put like that much trust in, and, or even just second guessing, like, did I really, hear what I think I heard?

Do I, do I really trust that like, Jesus says I can walk on water, then like I can actually do it. Like he can, of course he can. He's, you know, the literal son of God, but can I walk on water? Like that kind of stuff I think is for me. What takes me away from fully trusting in God? Yeah. Or I think another powerful one is like resentment, like or anger like I trusted I didn't get the result I wanted or this bad thing happened and you know what, I'm not gonna trust again.

Like I don't, I don't believe this or, or how could God do this to me? Or, I mean, those ones are really dangerous. Are you speaking from personal experience? Yeah. I've had experiences like that where something that I really felt like. Was important or vital didn't come through and it was like the frustration or the temptation to be like, all right You know and then make poor decisions based off of inaccurate knowledge or or not Comprehending correctly what actually happened in the meaning behind it.

So yeah a lot of there's a lot of tactics there I mean, I think that this area is where the adversary works This is his playground. This is where he's like, got it on lock with, with work and you know, all the angles, all the, all the angles. But I love this story. So a book I love is Thinking Girl Rich by Napoleon Hill.

But there's a, there's a story in this and he's talking about, so back in the gold rush days that he had an uncle or he's talking about this guy, R. U. Darby, his, an uncle of R. U. Darby. Darby. Darby. Was caught by the gold fever in the gold rush days and went west to dig and grow rich, which, you know, tons of people were doing at the time.

He had never heard that more gold has been mined from the thoughts of men than ever has been taken from the earth. He staked a claim and went to work with a pick and shovel. After weeks of labor, He was rewarded by the discovery of the shining ore. He needed machinery to bring the ore to the surface. He quietly covered up the mine, retraced his footsteps to his home in Williamsburg, Maryland, told his relatives and a few neighbors of the strike.

They got together money for the needed machinery and had it shipped. And the uncle and Darby went back to, to work the mine. The first car of ore was mined and shipped to, to a smelter. The returns proved they had one of the richest mines in Colorado. A few more cars of that ore would clear the debts.

Then would come the big killing profits. Down went the drills, up went the hopes of Darby and uncle. Then something happened. The vein of gold ore disappeared. They'd come to the end of the rainbow and the pot of gold was no longer there. They drilled on desperately trying to pick up the vein again, all to no avail.

Finally, they decided to quit. They sold the machinery to a junk man for a few hundred dollars and took the train back home. The junk man called in a mining engineer to look at the mine and do a little calculating. The engineer advised that the project had failed because the owners were not familiar with fault lines.

His calculation showed that the vein would be found just three feet from where the Darby's had stopped trilling. That is exactly where it was found. The junk man took millions of dollars in ore from the mine because he knew enough to seek expert counsel before giving up. So the reason why I like this story, There's a ton of different things you can pull from it.

This is three feet from gold. Three feet from gold. I had no idea. That's where that came from. That's cool. Okay. This, this story. Love it. Here you go. Like enlightenment happening. Totally. In people's eyes. Literally. But I love, I love the story because they found the gold. They knew what it was. They, they had it verified.

It was one of the richest mines, you know, that, that they'd seen. They, they could, they got it. They're like, wow, we, we found it. We've found solution. We found the answer. But then. And You know, they start to hit opposition. They start to lose maybe some of that initial success that they had found. And then the doubts start creeping in.

And then eventually they're just like, all right, you know what? This isn't working. We're, we're going to give up on it. But there was some information. And, and trusting in and digging for more understanding and looking to a different source of someone who does understand fault lines and does understand how old lines work and trusting in that source.

And to figure out that they were only three feet off and being challenged for long periods of time can just chip away at the faith that you have. And there can be a temptation to just be like, man, forget it. Like, why, why am I doing all this stuff? Why am I, you know, going to church? Why am I believing in exercising faith?

Why am I praying? Why am I reading my scriptures? Why am I paying tithing or, you know, whatever it is, doing all of these spiritual things. And when I'm just seeing challenge in my life, so that can be the temptation. Yeah. Tell us about a time. Tell me about a time. Well, okay. This happened for me. So we were talking before the podcast.

So I know right after we were married, a lot of, Um, what I had done, um, it was really important to me and it talks about it in, in my, you know, this blessing that we get in our church called the patriarchal blessing. It kind of gives you some insights and directions that specifically for you, you know, you go and you meet with, with a person who kind of does this for, uh, the local congregation.

He's kind of, you know, set apart. Or like the guy to give these special blessings. So I got mine. And it talks about preparing yourself to support, you know, your family. And that was something for me that was so important that I took so seriously. And so I'd done all this stuff career wise. And I had this job.

My, my eye on working for this. Particular company for, for a medical device company. Which one was that? I can't even remember. That was like your company called Medtronic. That was like your gold standard. That was like, I love these guys. Yeah. And I love the guys that, that I knew that worked for them and kind of what the company was all about.

And I was like, man, I really wanna work for this company and I love their mission and purpose and how they go about things. And so I'd been talking to this. This person who worked for them and, and like became friends with him working in the industry and for, I mean, a good year, even a couple years was, was kind of talking to him about potential openings at this company.

And then finally, one day he's like, Hey. I need to talk to you. You know, he pulls me aside. He's like, okay. You're just like, you saw him in the hospital. I saw him. I'd see him every day in the hospital or, you know, we'd kind of bump into each other, super good guy. And so I'm like, okay, awesome. And then I, you know, I talked to the, to the, the hiring manager, had a conversation with him.

It was like, you know, very intense conversation. And I recognize like, whoa, this is a, this opportunity is even bigger than I thought, like, as far as. Um, the responsibilities and then obviously compensation wise, it was something that was like far greater than, than what I was making at the time. So it was a huge jump potentially for me.

I think it would have like tripled our income, right? It was like a big deal. Yeah. And I'd worked for, I mean, years, like heating this thing up, getting the experience, making the contacts, all of these things. And I remember I was really worked up about it. It was in our, you know, our house. We just, we were just married.

And it was, you know, I think we, we maybe had, we had Annie, um, our, our oldest, she's like a year old baby. And I remember being so worked up about it one night and you're like, why don't you call our, our neighbor was, uh, one of the leaders in our local congregation. He was, they call him like the stake president.

He was over all the different congregations in the area, like really good guy. And they're like, you're like, why don't you call him and just have him give you a blessing, you know, or special. Blessing of, you know, strength or insights or comfort or whatever that we do in our church. And so I was like, nah, I don't want to bug him.

I don't, you know, finally though, I was so worked up about it and so worried that, you know, I think you called him or I called him. He came over just And so he gives me this, this blessing and one of the things he says in it, I kind of get the gist from what he's saying and, and, you know, in, in a blessing, he's speaking on behalf of, of God, he's, you're kind of acting as like a conduit for God's words.

And so he's saying these things and I'm kind of getting the gist that you're not going to get this job. And I'm just like, so bummed in the blessing. I'm like, oh man, I don't think I'm going to get it. But then one of the things he says is. You know, God will make it up to you. And I'm like, okay, like, that's a weird thing here or be told in a blessing.

So I'm kind of, I'm disappointed, you know, I do my best in the interview process and you know, ultimately I wasn't picked. That's just really bummed. I'm like, man, everything I'd worked for, for like years came down to this opportunity. And I just, I blew it, like I didn't get it and we needed it and I'm like, come on.

At the time, I was working multiple side jobs, like working for, I was running Vivint's Pinterest. I worked for OC Tanner working their Pinterest. I was writing blog posts for Vivint on weird stuff like environmentally friendly. You know, like ways to make your home more green, which I am not passionate about, but I was, we were, so it's not like we were not getting by, but it was definitely an extra effort to just make it happen at the time.

My blog was like brand new. We weren't making any money yet. So that, that was kind of like the, yeah. It was like, and that was my plan. Like I had this master plan in my mind of like, I'm going to go, I'm going to get my degree, I'm getting, getting all this great experience. I'm working in the industry I want to be in.

And then ultimately I want to, I want to, you know, come on with this company and, and like, really. Like that. Here we go. Yeah. And that was it. And that was the opportunity. And I'd been working forever for it. And it just, boom, didn't happen. And it was so frustrating, but because it seemed like such an easy solution, like, yes, if God gave this to us, then we'd get everything that we wanted.

Yeah. And it was like, we'd be able to, like, I wouldn't have to work these side jobs anymore. I could just focus on being a mom and, and we'd easily be able to pay our bills and we'd easily be able to, you know, just would give us so much ease and comfort. Yeah. And it just seemed like the logical solution, like, yeah, why, what, like, this is it, this is the one, all of the things lined up.

And so it was really hard and frustrating to go through that. So ultimately, and we talk about it on another podcast, like we have this You know, inspiration to move to Southern California, which was really cool. Miraculous set of, you know, experiences got us here. And, and even in that it was a, it was a different device, medical sales job that got us out here.

Um, and, and I thought that was going to be it. I'm like, okay, like. This isn't as ideal, but Hey, you know, there's opportunity. Maybe this is going to take off. And then that didn't work out. And that was even, you know, again, but ultimately what happened over the next few years is, you know, things came together with the blog taken off with us working together that allowed me to be more at home with the family, which is what I wanted, which I think this other opportunity would have totally taken me away from everybody.

Yeah. And then. We've been able to do, have experiences together and as a family, you know, having impact in different ways, like things that I never would have been able to do had I gotten that position. And it's kind of like, we hear this phrase in recovery, like if you got everything that you want out of life, you would shortchange yourself for everything that God would bless you with or have in store for you.

And that's kind of what I've seen. In this example. And when we met, you had this whole chief aim in life thing that you had constructed and that you were very serious about in this book. Oh, it's actually in this whole book, there's a, well, there's a whole book that you and Dave, like this moment where you realized that you were both, we were memorizing this every day, self confidence formula.

It's in this book. So it's like a whole memorized, like a. It's not like an incantation, but it's a, just something that you recite every day that you memorize. And so in this book, he talks all about like in this, this thing that you recite the self confidence formula. One of it is like that, you know, your chief aim in life and that you, you are, you know, you are dialed in, you're confident in, in achieving this chief aim.

And basically it's a way in reciting this. This, this formula each day, you stay focused in on and in to be able to complete this chief aim in life and what you want to do. And so I recite this every day. Yeah. But you told me when we met, like you were super clear on what that was. And they were things like be able to have impact, be able to speak.

I'm trying to remember what else, but interestingly, the, the path that you were on with medical devices. Yeah. We've kind of concluded probably would not have led you to that chief aim in life But this other path that God directed us on has allowed you to do all of those things But maybe not in the way that you thought they would come to pass when you first created that chief aim But interestingly it has provided that opportunity for you in all of those ways.

Yes, absolutely and so It's not, it's, it's so far beyond what I had planned. Like what we're doing now, what our life looks like now. Like I really, I did a lot of exercises, you know, in my 20s in, because I'd read books like Think You Can Grow Rich or, You know, we're listening to motivational material where it's talking about like define what you want your life to look like, be specific and create a plan and, and a set of timeframe and all this stuff.

I did all that, like several iterations of it. Um, and I don't like all the things that I came up with were not. As cool as what we're doing and what we're living now, it's like way better. So had I got that job, had I got all the things that I wanted at that time, it wouldn't, it wouldn't have led us to where we are now and, and a lot out us, the opportunities that we have in front of us now, and to be able to do the things we're doing right.

Well, so going back to the trust in God, when I think about how you even develop that. And I think about my ability to trust in God. A lot of it has to do with even knowing him, knowing his nature, feeling like I understand how he works or how the Lord works. And so last year when we did the Bible study and I felt like I learned a lot more about Jesus and how he works, I found it so interesting that I kept reading this phrase, take no thought.

And what take no thought. means is like, don't fret and worry so much about how it's going to come together. Like, if I give you this instruction, just go do it. And there's going to be a way to make it happen. And Jesus did this with his apostles when he gave each of them the authority to go act in his name and go perform miracles and teach in his name.

He would, he said to them, like, don't take. an extra change of clothes. Don't take money. Don't take a worry about where you're going to sleep or eat. Like I will provide all of that for you. And don't even think about what you're going to say. Take, there's a scripture that says like, take no thought as to what you should say.

Like, I'm going to give you even what you're supposed to say. And so they go out and do it and they're successful. They're able to go like, start spreading the gospel of Jesus Christ because they have total trust and faith and confidence that like, okay, if Jesus said, that this is how it's going to be.

That's how it's going to be. And they have these miraculous experiences acting in his name. And so when I think about the times that we've had our greatest successes and our biggest miracles, they have happened when it's been like, okay, we're just going to let go. And Let God direct this and obviously you still have to show up and do the work Just like the Apostles had to get up in the morning and leave the house and start, you know Going in the direction that they felt inspired to go to or wherever Jesus told them to go But then he makes all the things happen along the way as you make the effort And so I've found that by studying about him and reading my scriptures often and being in the temple for me, that's like the place where I feel like I get the very clearest and direct revelation for myself.

That's allowed me to have like these, like brick by brick building experiences where I've felt like I've built a stronger foundation of like, I know how this works because we've done it over and over again, where we've put our faith in God, we've Put total trust in him and then he's made it work. Yeah.

And that's like, that's kind of the process that happens. And, but I, at the same time, like the whole point I think of life like is is the adversity side of it. Yeah. Like, is to go through challenges that, that, things that challenge that faith in order to make it stronger. Right. Right. And, and so I love like this concept, so there's a talk that I really like from a guy in our church or or an apostle in our church.

His name is Elder Christofferson. And so there's actually a couple of different ones that he, he gave where he talks a little bit about this topic, but I think the, the challenge can be in these scenarios is to feel like, okay, well, I'm being obedient. I'm doing all the things I'm, I'm being. You know, spiritually minded.

I'm trying to engage spiritually in activities. I'm trying to be a good person. I'm praying to God. I'm asking for these blessings. Um, um, you know, whatever the, the makeup or the vision in our mind is that would, would lend itself to be like, Oh, I'm doing what God wants me to do. Therefore. Shouldn't I get blessings?

Like, shouldn't I be, like, I'm being obedient? Like, what's going on? And so he talks a little bit about this in this talk called Our Relationship with God that he gave in our semi annual conference. And he says, some misunderstand the promises of God to mean that obedience to him yields specific outcomes on a fixed schedule.

So he gives these examples, like, if I diligently serve a full time mission for our church, God will bless me with a happy marriage and children. If I refrain from doing schoolwork on the Sabbath, God will bless me with good grades. If I pay tithing, God will bless me with that job I've been wanting. So some of these things like we were talking about with the example that I was saying with this job, um, but he goes on to say, God will indeed honor his covenants and promises to each of us.

We need not worry about that. through Jesus Christ, you know, he explains because of Jesus Christ will receive all blessings that God has in store for us. But he says, but not every blessing predicated on obedience to law is shaped, designed, and timed according to our expectations. We do our best, but must leave to him the management of blessings, both temporal and spiritual.

Yeah. And so again, and, and this is where I think it comes back to the bedrock of trusting in God. Because that's not necessarily like in a moment of challenge or trial, like kind of what you want to hear. Like, well, look, you got to just trust that it's going to work out the way that God wants it, or there's something better, or it's hard in those moments, at least for me, to kind of hear that.

It's not necessarily what you want to hear, but this is what he says about that. He says, so in the midst of this refiner's fire, rather than get angry with God, Get close to God. Call upon the Father in the name of the Son. Walk with them in the Spirit day by day. Allow them, over time, to manifest their fidelity to you.

Come truly to know them and truly to know yourself. Let God prevail and so he and and it's really cool to get a little bit of in this other talk There's a reason why I think he you know is is speaking to this as he talks about this experience that he personally had financially He talks about a financial challenge that came about and he says it didn't come about because as a consequence of anyone's wrongdoing or ill will, it was just one of those things that sometimes come into our lives.

It ebbed and flowed in seriousness and urgency, but it never went away completely. At times, this challenge threatened the welfare of my family and me, and I thought that we might be facing financial ruin. I prayed for some miraculous intervention to deliver it.

So it's interesting, he talks a little bit about this process he went through during this challenge. He says, There were times when I had exhausted all my resources and I had nowhere or no one to turn to at the moment when there was simply no other human being I could call on to help me. The exigency of Before me, with no other recourse more than once, I fell down before my Heavenly Father, begging in tears for His help.

And He, and He did help. Sometimes it was nothing more than a sense of peace. A feeling of assurance that things would work out. I might not see how or what the path would be, but he gave me to know that directly or indirectly he would open away. Circumstances might change. A new helpful idea might come to mind.

Some unanticipated income or other resource might appear just at the right time. Somehow there was a resolution. Though I suffered then, as I look back now, I'm grateful that there was not a quick solution to my problem. The fact that I was forced to turn to God for help almost daily over an extended period of years taught me truly how to pray and get answers to prayer and taught me in a very practical way to have faith in God.

I came to know my Savior and my Heavenly Father in a way and to a degree that might not have happened otherwise, or might have taken me much longer to achieve. I learned that daily bread is a precious commodity. I learned that manna today can be as real as the physical manna of biblical history. I learned to trust in the Lord with all my heart and learn to walk with Him day by day.

Yeah. So love that story. Well, that's happened to us so many times where it's been like, Okay, I hope, I hope this all works out and then whatever we need, like we get exactly what we need, but a lot of times just enough. It's just, it, it is definitely like a daily bread kind of tutelage where God's teaching us that like, I will give you what you need, but no more than that for now.

Right now there's some lesson, there's something meant to be learned here and I've really wrestled with that. Like, is it gratitude? Is it, you know, being happy with what you have? Is it more trust? Is it, you know, having greater faith? I've kind of just, and maybe it's all of those things, but the words that you're reading there, like that, some of it feels like it might as well just be written about us because like in our life and our story, I mean, one example is.

When we found out we were going to have to redo our kitchen, I was like, Oh, like we, we haven't budgeted for this. Which sounds kind of cool. You're like, Oh, you have to redo the kitchen. No, no. I mean, just to give you context, we woke up on like two days before Christmas to a pool of water, which long story short, ended up being like a flood that had happened underneath like the floorboards in the foundation of our home.

Like a pipe that had collapsed. First, and then there was water that damaged the floors in our kitchen, the cabinets in our kitchen, and therefore, except for the, like, stainless steel appliances, we basically had to gut the entire kitchen, and it wasn't like a, well, if you want it to look nice, it was, there was mold.

And that grew during like the three months that we were waiting and hoping that the insurance company would come through. And from the very beginning, when we found out that it was this like slab leak in our foundation, all the experts were like, Oh, you're, you guys have state farm. They're not going to cover this.

They never cover a slab leak. And from the beginning, I was like, We're these like really faithful people. God's gonna make it work. We're gonna be like the one miracle story. I kept thinking that like, we're gonna get some call from State Farm and for some fluke of a reason, they're gonna pay for it just because we're so awesome and great and no, but no, because I thought like I'm That's right.

Come on. Kind of. And then it didn't happen, and we finally had to, after a few months come to the conclusion of like, oh crap, if we wanna live in our house and not have a health hazard to our children. You and me because there was literal mold in the kitchen, we got to rip it up and we got to fix it and have a remediation company come in and clean it out down to the guts down to like the concrete, you know, rip it out, pour it in all of that stuff.

And because of that, there have been. you know, financial struggles because of that, where it. It would have been so much easier to have God create some little miracle where that was paid for and we didn't have to come out of pocket for it, but it didn't happen that way. And I think that it was for a purpose.

I think that he has wanted us to draw closer to him. It's like the scripture say, draw near unto me and I'll draw near unto you. Like seek me diligently and you, you'll find me and, and knock and it'll be opened. And all of these things where he's like, Sometimes I've got to create some turmoil in your life or allow things to happen so that you'll get closer to me so that like I think about too when Jesus was out on the boat and it's rocky and the apostles are getting really stressed out and they're really afraid and it wasn't until the fourth watch that Jesus appears and he's walking on water and like you think about that And these are men who have completely turned their whole entire life over to God and to, you know, following Jesus Christ.

And they're so stressed and he shows up at the last minute and he's walking on water. And then Peter's like, I'm getting out of the boat. I'm going to listen to him. He tells me I can walk on water. I'm going to walk on water. And even standing before Jesus Christ himself, he, even then, like he, you know, starts to freak out and worry.

And so the humanity in that teaches me that like. Okay. Even if I was standing before Jesus himself, there's a chance that like I could get worried. So I think that, but he does these things. He waits until the fourth watch because there's something that we need to learn that if he showed up in the first watch, we wouldn't have learned.

It wouldn't have built a strong enough foundation of faith. It wouldn't have provided an opportunity for us to be like, okay, Lord, like we're just going to trust you. And then he's come through for us. It's over and over and over and in different ways that I feel like we couldn't have predicted. Yeah, totally.

And I think of one of the greatest examples of what you're talking about is Christ himself. So you look at like the garden of Gethsemane performing the atonement and what happens. So the scriptures talk about, there's like, you know, a few different accounts of, of what that looked like from the apostles.

But one of the accounts talks about he was, he was sore amazed, which means like he'd never. He felt sin before, and so he was like overwhelmed or, or, or kind of overcome or sore amazed by that sin and, and he prayed more earnestly. And then he asked, he's like, if I'll be willing to remove this cup from me, like, and I think that that's something that, but he also followed that up with, but not my will, I will be done.

There is an angel that appears and, and comes and strengthens him through that process. So like there is a solution, but it's obviously it's not taken away. He performed the atonement. He knew how to perform the atonement. And maybe that's not, you know, what, what he was initially praying for, but he, he recognized.

Not my will, but thine be done. And so I think in these scenarios, looking to the example of the ultimate example of the savior, of being willing, but also recognizing. Sometimes you got to go through it anyway. Sometimes you got to go through it. And, and it's, maybe it's not going to be this awesome thing that you think it's going to be on the out of the other side of it.

Yeah. But. in the long run and in having either a longer perspective or ultimately an eternal perspective, it's going to be mind blowing as far as how, how beyond your expectations or even knowledge or comprehension, the blessings, the, the outcome is going to be. And I think if you can look back also on who you've become and what things allowed you to become, who you are.

For me, I wouldn't take a lot of those things away. We were talking about this just the other day where I was like, I don't regret necessarily marrying the wrong person because of what it taught me when I, you know, my first marriage right out of college that ended after a year and how I've been able to use the lesson from that.

The biggest lesson is like, listen to God and trust him. If he tells you don't marry this person, like don't do it. And I didn't listen and not listening. I had to go through a really, really hard time and a huge challenge in life, but it changed me. It changed who I am, and it completely changed what I was looking for when I met you.

I was looking for someone who was completely confident in what they believed in. They weren't ashamed of the gospel of Jesus Christ, and then I was looking for that like Bam answer when I prayed. And when I got that more than once, it was like, okay, like, let's go. I know who I'm supposed to marry. This is all going to work out.

And then even in a really hard times in our marriage, like, especially when addiction was rampant in the beginning of our marriage, I knew that God would not have told me yes, do this if it wasn't going to turn out. Okay. Eventually. And so like that shaped who I am. And then I think about like postpartum depression.

When I went through that, There was definitely kind of this transactional thing, like expectation of like, Heavenly Father, like I am trying to totally support my parents going out on this mission. They went to Spain and I was like, I'm going to get all these blessings because my parents are serving a mission.

And people told me that. And I kind of expected that. And then when I found myself in the hardest mentally, like my mental health and the worst place it had ever been, and it lasted for a year. And I just hated myself. I hated the person that I was just laying in bed that didn't have the energy or the mental capacity to get up and just get stuff done and be who I know I am deep down.

I wanted God to take that trial away so bad. I was obsessed with it. I would talk to my therapist about it, like, when is this going to end? When is it going to go away? I just need to know, like, how long I have to endure this. And she was like, the longer, the harder and tighter you try to clench on to, like, God, make it go away.

The longer it's going to last. Like when you just let go and let God lead you down this path, wherever it's supposed to take you, he will take it and make it exactly what you need. And she was like, you will never be the same person after this. You will be better. And I look back at how much that changed who I am in my.

sensitivity to and compassion for people who go through mental health challenges. And I'm a different person. I don't want to be the person that I was before that. I don't ever want to be the Corinne who watched This Is Us and saw Toby laying in the bed and Kate's like, hey, from This Is Us, Kate's like, hey, let's go on a walk.

And he's like, no. I'm okay. And he just sits and watches this phone. I remember watching that episode and thinking like I would never let myself get to that point. And then I did. And then that was me, like a few months later, that was me laying in that bed. I just, I couldn't even get myself out of bed to go make myself a piece of toast in the morning.

A lot of times, like you had to bring me breakfast. And I think about how bad it is. I just begged God to take that away from me and he had the foresight and the understanding of why that would not have been the best thing for me. Why like a year of that was going to shape and mold who I am into a better person.

So I wouldn't take that trial away even though at the time I wanted it so bad. And I think that You know, to, this is another thought that I had when we were starting to talk about this trust in God thing was that huge experience that we had. We've talked about it in the, especially in the miscarriage episode about how having the miscarriage of that fifth baby that we were trying for, because we felt like God told us to have that baby.

And then having thinking like, Oh my gosh, this is going to be the miracle. We saw the heartbeat. Even the. You know, I was, we were told like, you're for sure going to lose this baby. And like, I wanted that miracle so bad. I wanted that miracle baby to live. I wanted God to save that baby. And when that didn't happen, I remember sitting in the temple and being just so crushed, like absolutely heartbroken because I had seen that baby's heartbeat multiple times.

And I was like, this is it. This is going to be a miracle. And then when it didn't work out, sitting in the celestial room of the temple and feeling so sad. And having this very clear revelation, my dad's face came to me, like, you know, in my mind's eye, I could see my dad. And I could see how, like, how much I trust him, you know, if my dad walked into this room right now and he was like, Hey, Corinne, don't worry at all about whatever problem I had on my plate at the time, like I already know what's going to happen and it's going to be just fine.

I trust my dad, Grant Foster, so much that if he said that to me, I'd be like, great, I have nothing to worry about. And I saw my dad's face and I heard the Lord say to me, if you have that much trust in your dad, in your. earthly father. Think about how much your heavenly father loves you perfectly and knows exactly what's coming for you.

And it's all going to be okay. And I just remember this like rush of relief, feeling like, okay, if I can trust my dad, Bully completely, no questions asked, think about how much more I should be able to trust my Heavenly Father. I can't see his face, but if I think about my dad's face and how much I trust him, you know, think about how much more I should be able to trust in my Heavenly Father.

And so that was a huge moment for me to really make that connection of like, you know, trying to compare my huge trust in the dad that raised me compared to my Heavenly Father. Yeah, absolutely. I, I can't help, but in this topic, like one of my favorite quotes, that's, that's not from somebody from our church.

It's from the book, Mere Christianity from C. S. Lewis. And it just, the analogy he uses here says it so beautifully as far as everything we're talking about with trusting God. Um, but he, this is what he says, uh, in, in Mere Christianity. He says, imagine yourself as a living house. God comes in to rebuild that house.

At first, perhaps, you can understand what He's doing. He's getting the drains right, and stopping the leaks in the roof, and so on. You knew those jobs needed doing, and so you're not surprised. But presently, He starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominably, and does not seem to make any sense.

What on earth is He up to? The explanation is that he is building quite a different house from the one you thought of throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor, they're running up towers, making courtyards. You thought you were being made into a decent little cottage, but he is building a palace.

He intends to come and live in it himself. And I think for, for me, that sums up what we're talking about. It's like, we don't understand. You know, we can't, we can't understand or can't see with our earthly eyes and vision what God has in store for us, but by trusting in him and understanding who he is and our relation to him as his children, then we can trust that just as, as in your example, like if your earthly father can give you a great gift or create that much confidence, think how much more.

God can. Yeah. And it might not be your father. I know everybody doesn't have like a perfect or really, you know, positive in some situations relationship with their earthly father. But if you can think about a person who you have total trust and confidence in that if they told you like, Oh, I already got to see the next chapter and it's going to work out just fine.

How much trust you would have in them. Multiply that by the nth degree by billions, and that's how much trust we can potentially have in our heavenly father. But it's up to us. It's, it's up to us to say like, okay, I'm going to trust that when Jesus says it's all going to work out that it is. And maybe I'll just end on this.

My favorite thing about when I've studied people in fear and then how Jesus responds to that, he's got a favorite saying that he says over and over and that is be of good cheer. He says it to Peter when Peter's like freaking out and he's like, be of good cheer. It is I, be not afraid. Like, Hey, it's me.

It's me. Like, be happy. This is all going to work out. This is going to be amazing. I'm going to show you how to walk on water. And one of the last things that he says in his mortal ministry, in John 16, he's like, in the world, you're going to have tribulation. In this world, you're, you're going to go through hard things, but be of good cheer because I've overcome the world.

And so that be of good cheer is such a cool thing also to hang on to, to be like, just, you know, hang on for the ride. And know that there's really good things to come. Like you're going to be so happy. You're going to look back and laugh and be like, remember when I was so stressed about those silly things and it doesn't even matter now, and I could, you're going to get to the end and be like, wow, Jesus was there the whole time.

I just had to trust him. I just had to give that trust to him.

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